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Ask Otto | Zombie FAQs

Senior Zombie Specialist Otto Abendröth

Senior Zombie Consultant Otto Abendröth

  • Not sure how to defend yourself against a Zombie attack?
  • Want to ensure you dont become a Zombie?
  • Where do Zombies come from ?

Senior Zombie Consultant Herr Otto Abendröth answers these and other potentially life saving questions here.

If you are looking for specific info try our FAQ Search:

Killing Zombies (3)

How to Kill a Zombie

keep-clam-and-kill-zombiesThis frequently asked question has a simple answer: Destroy the Zombie’s brain

While there may be other theories on how to end these creature’s lives, the reality is that they are already dead so the questions is not so much how to kill a Zombie as it is to stop/disable/end a Zombie and this is linked to disabling it’s brain.

For further reading this ehow article details the 4 best ways to kill a Zombie which  include:

  1. Destroy the brain.
  2. Sever the head.
  3. Burn ’em.
  4. Mulch or crush the zombie.

In other words all brain destroying activities…

What is the best weapon for killing a Zombie?

Small spiked hand axe

Small spiked hand axe
Otto’s personal favourite

This is as much a matter of person preference as it is selecting the most devastating Zombie weapon.

Over at Zombie Research this article gives some very practical advice in anti-Zombie weaponary selection:

  • Firearms eventually run out of bullets, resulting in a tense battlefield moment.
  • Other Ranged Weapons (eg spear, throwing ax, battle Frisbee, boomerang – boomerang?!) have capacity issues i.e. how many can you take into battle?
  • Edged weapons (eg Swords, machetes, claws and spikes) will eventually loose their edge and need a quick sharpen but the Zombies probably wont give you 5 minutes to do this.
  • Blunt weapons are dangerous from most angles and need little or no upkeep.  Best of all they’re more easily obtained than other specialized weapons.Zombie Reserach did of course assume that the defender is fit and string enough to swing the blunt weapon effectively…

Do Zombies get infections?

Zombie Virus

We can’t be sure if this is the actual Z-Virus…

Zombies are already infected by the Zombie Virus

Our goto site for info on the Zombie Virus is : www.zombievirus.org

Surviving a Zombie Attack (1)

What injuries can a Zombie inflict on me?

While a Zombie can inflict a wide range of injuries on your person there’s probably a couple you should really be concerned about:

Eating your brain

As you might imagine this is a bit of a show stopper for you at least.
By the time a Zombie is munching on your brain… well you probably aren’t in a fit state to use it anyway. You’re a goner.  So be concerned about this injury…

Passing on the Zombie Virus

Virus

Zombies are people who have become infected with the Zombie Virus. So if a Zombie passes the Z-virus onto you then you will metamorphose into a Zombie yourself – a wholly unpleasant and definitely one way trip… So yeah; getting infected by a Zombie is bad news for your human existence too.

Zombie Origins (1)

Zombie 101 (15)

How many Zombies are there?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Can I trust a Zombie?

trust me im a zombieNo.
Well you can if you really want but you’ll find that you wake up a Zombie yourself!

Where do Zombies come from?

…from people who have been infected with the Zombie virus

What is the Zombie virus?

This is the viral strain that can turn perfectly normal people into flesh eating Zombies

Check out what zombievirus.org have to say about this

How did Zombies start?

Here’s a much more authoritative reference on this subject:

  • Wikipedia 
    From the Haitian Creole word zonbi which describes an animated corpse resurrected by mystical means, such as witchcraft

Are there male and female Zombies?

Yes in the sense that before becoming Zombies the person (or animal) was of a particular gender. As Zombies don’t procreate tho’ there really is not need for male and female Zombies to be getting together to make babies… So… they have residual (ie pre-existing) gender characteristics from their pre-Zombie existence – does that count as Zombie gender though ? Hmm interesting…

How do I know if someone is a Zombie

..err do you mean before they eat your brain or after !!?
Perhaps the horrific stench might give them away?
What about the lurching unco movements?
The moaning?
The menacing pursuit of humans?

Its subtle but if you observe carefully you’ll notice the difference… If you live long enough!

Are there Zombie commanders?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Do Zombies eat and drink?

Just human brains.
…although I’ve seen reports of Zombie animals so it sounds like there might be a bit of Zombie diet indiscretion going on too…

Do Zombies have to rest or sleep?

Jeez I dunno. Where do you get these tough questions ?
Here’s what they say about Zombie sleep over at Zombie Research Society…

I wonder if there’s Zombie nursery rhymes too ?

Where do Zombies like to hangout?

Zombies are not sophisticated creatures. While they were previously human like you and I – well you anyway – the Zombie virus has stripped all of that human-ness away leaving a barren shell with only one purpose – that is to eat human brains.

Sorry I got a bit distracted there… Yes well getting back to the question:

Zombies don’t and can’t understand the concept of ‘hanging out’ – not in any social context.
Entertainment? No this is to part of the Zombie psyche.

Can anyone see Zombies?

Well yeah Duh!
..and unless you would like to live on for eternity in a wretched smelly body, with your only capability of expressing a primitive grunting noise and poorly coordinated gestures then you had better hope you see any Zombies coming at you!

Do Zombies kill each other?

In a word.. No

Zombies hunger after living humans, and dont like the rotten flesh of their fellow Zombies. They can also smell the decaying flesh of other zombies, and then smell the preferred fresh flesh of living humans.

 

Are Zombies social beings?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Are there any Countries without Zombies?

As Are you a Zombie? is not one of the standard Census questions, authorities dont have reliable statistics on Zombie populations nor their global distribution.

You may however be interested in this interesting factoid on countries relative Zombie preparedness at Zombie Research Society

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