Ask Otto

Ask Otto | Zombie FAQs

Senior Zombie Specialist Otto Abendröth

Senior Zombie Consultant Otto Abendröth

  • Not sure how to defend yourself against a Zombie attack?
  • Want to ensure you dont become a Zombie?
  • Where do Zombies come from ?

Senior Zombie Consultant Herr Otto Abendröth answers these and other potentially life saving questions here.

If you are looking for specific info try our FAQ Search:

Zombie 101

How many Zombies are there?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Can I trust a Zombie?

trust me im a zombieNo.
Well you can if you really want but you’ll find that you wake up a Zombie yourself!

Where do Zombies come from?

…from people who have been infected with the Zombie virus

What is the Zombie virus?

This is the viral strain that can turn perfectly normal people into flesh eating Zombies

Check out what zombievirus.org have to say about this

How did Zombies start?

Here’s a much more authoritative reference on this subject:

  • Wikipedia 
    From the Haitian Creole word zonbi which describes an animated corpse resurrected by mystical means, such as witchcraft

Are there male and female Zombies?

Yes in the sense that before becoming Zombies the person (or animal) was of a particular gender. As Zombies don’t procreate tho’ there really is not need for male and female Zombies to be getting together to make babies… So… they have residual (ie pre-existing) gender characteristics from their pre-Zombie existence – does that count as Zombie gender though ? Hmm interesting…

How do I know if someone is a Zombie

..err do you mean before they eat your brain or after !!?
Perhaps the horrific stench might give them away?
What about the lurching unco movements?
The moaning?
The menacing pursuit of humans?

Its subtle but if you observe carefully you’ll notice the difference… If you live long enough!

Are there Zombie commanders?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Do Zombies eat and drink?

Just human brains.
…although I’ve seen reports of Zombie animals so it sounds like there might be a bit of Zombie diet indiscretion going on too…

Do Zombies have to rest or sleep?

Jeez I dunno. Where do you get these tough questions ?
Here’s what they say about Zombie sleep over at Zombie Research Society…

I wonder if there’s Zombie nursery rhymes too ?

Where do Zombies like to hangout?

Zombies are not sophisticated creatures. While they were previously human like you and I – well you anyway – the Zombie virus has stripped all of that human-ness away leaving a barren shell with only one purpose – that is to eat human brains.

Sorry I got a bit distracted there… Yes well getting back to the question:

Zombies don’t and can’t understand the concept of ‘hanging out’ – not in any social context.
Entertainment? No this is to part of the Zombie psyche.

Can anyone see Zombies?

Well yeah Duh!
..and unless you would like to live on for eternity in a wretched smelly body, with your only capability of expressing a primitive grunting noise and poorly coordinated gestures then you had better hope you see any Zombies coming at you!

Do Zombies kill each other?

In a word.. No

Zombies hunger after living humans, and dont like the rotten flesh of their fellow Zombies. They can also smell the decaying flesh of other zombies, and then smell the preferred fresh flesh of living humans.

 

Are Zombies social beings?

Sorry but we are still researching this FAQ.
No we didn’t know the answer so get over it! What’s your problem?
We’ll post the answer once our Zombie research team have a creditable answer.

Are there any Countries without Zombies?

As Are you a Zombie? is not one of the standard Census questions, authorities dont have reliable statistics on Zombie populations nor their global distribution.

You may however be interested in this interesting factoid on countries relative Zombie preparedness at Zombie Research Society

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